mango_xx

he doesn't.

new fav song of life lol
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX365-s4MyI*

I loveeeee the chorus:
Tell all your friends, I’m sick of them.
Forty rocks a piece we ballin; we be callin, you in awe when:
I roll up in, a Lamborghini, ya you see me, girls in polka dot bikini’s, maybe some day.
Tell all your friends, I’m sick of them.
Forty rocks a piece we ballin; we be callin, you in awe when...
I roll up in, Lamborghini, ya you see me, girls in polka dot bikini’s, keep dreaming, keep dreaming.

anyway, im posting cuz i feel like ive lost a best friend with losing Joel (he apologized btw, said he was drunk, didnt mean it, blah blah blah, we are not talkin as of now, so idk). We use to talk all day, every day.  Now that I don't have that, I feel lost, so I've decided to write him letters (obvi he'll never read them).  I'm thinkin of makin a new lj to do that so I don't clog up this one, even tho noone posts on here anymore :p

listen to the song
xo

Six am, I have not seen this time in a long time lol
about a half an hour ago, I was rudely awaken by my ex, Joel, tellin me he hated me and I was an ugly slut, etc etc etc.
He than deleted me from facebook, his phone, skype, again, etc etc etc.
I'm assuming this has been sittin in the wings for months now, since yesterday he mentioned maybe in the future we wouldn't be friends, and I told him if he was gonna do that, than our friendship would end now cuz I hate long drawn out endings of friendships (its happened waay to many times lol), and he said he would never do that, that we were gonna be friends for a long time. AHAHAHAHAAHHAH liar.

My fav part of the convo (cuz we legit had a convo before he deleted me off fb cuz the drunk fuck couldn't figure it out :p), was when he told me he was sooo better lookin than me and that he had never cared about me, I was just some fuck to him. if my heart hadn't been broken since I woke up, it would have broke than, cuz I had loved him at one point, but it was just to difficult with the distance and all the fights, so i had to end it.

he told me to never come to "his city", like fuck you can keep me outta Ottawa!!!! maybe for the first little while, but fuck that, I'm gonna go to Ottawa if i wanna and you can't stop me.

tbh, i wish someone was awake. I need a friend, but who the hell is awake at 6am on a saturday, unless they never went to bed lol
maybe ill watch a movie :)
xo

I'm listening to hinder on repeat.
why? cuz Natasha gave me the cd.
I usually listen once a year, on her birthday, cuz it makes me cry. by the third song, I'm usually in tears. but this year I was too busy with my love life to continue this tradition, which makes me feel horribly sad, because she deserves to be remembered, so thats what I'm doing now, and I promise for now on, I won't forget, I won't put it aside <3

I miss you lovely <3

Dear Caleb,
I can't stop crying, haven't really stopped since about 1 this afternoon.
You expect me to be okayy with what you did, and "cheer up" right away.
how can i do that tho when I feel so betrayed?
YOU stopped talkin to ME for three weeks.
YOU made it seem like I didn't care about you.
YOU slept with your ex, while I remained faithful, even if we weren't official.
and YOU were the one who's been telling ME for months how much I mean to you, or how you can see a future for us.

you started out so nice, and different from my last choices of guys, but you've ended up just like them, even after everything I've done for you.

I just feel...idk how I feel, I know I really can't get mad, we weren't together, so you could do whatever you wanted, and tbh, I'm upset about the sex thing, but I can get over that. It's gonna be harder to get over the fact that you weren't gonna tell me what happened. You were just gonna keep doin what you were doin, and go on with your life, even tho you say your an honest man. Not tellin me is a lie of omission, so that makes you dishonest, and you can say you didn't lie, it was just a secret, but that doesn't make it any better.

I've tried sayin all these things to you today but it didn't matter, you just told me to "cheer up" and kept asking "if we were okayy" and "if I was gonna leave you". and than you say that those questions are the most important thing, and that my feelings are the second most important thing. I applaud you for that statement.

Idk what else to say to you, you told me "to sleep on it and everything will be better in a few days, it makes you feel better to just sleep on things". that line made me laugh, cuz I guess it also makes you feel better to ignore me and than fuck some other chick :p ahah your logic is funny :) AND ANOTHER THING, when I tell you I'm being followed as I walk home from the bus, don't just say "don't talk to strangers :p", that really helps when I'm obvi scared...or tell me to "spartan kick them into a pit of doom"...yeahh, that'll work won't it?

rawr I'm just so flustered with this whole thing.
I'm going to bed, you'll never read this, but it made me feel slightly better, probably only for a while

xo

A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Does anyone else see something wrong with this statement? I don't really understand how someone came up with this theory :s

Plans have changed for the summer, I am moving home for a month or two to save money and than moving back to peterborough. I really don't wanna move home but I really don't have a choice. Not looking forward to going home :(
( lamee secret )

thank you from making it completely obv that you really don't want me anymore.
thank you so much for fuckin with my education.
and most of all, thank you for making me hate you.

the last one is the best part of all of this.